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  • Writer's pictureZachariah Crooks LMHC CGT CHT

I'm Scared..... I'm Afraid....


 

This week at MFC a theme arose as the hours passed and the clients entered and exited the room. Themes have a tendency to happen each week in my office. This week's theme was "I"m scared..." or even "I'm afraid". It seemed that it just wasn't newer clients that were feeling this way because more experienced clients were saying them as well. I was hearing clients say "I'm afraid to explore that part of myself" or "I'm scared of what I will find in me". I kept tracking these thoughts and feelings hour after hour. I began to remember that all of us have a lot of hope and dread when it comes to personal growth. The hope for a newer, healthier life. The dread of the unknown. It's very much an energetic, visceral feeling that we all have in our lives. Some of us experience these feelings and thoughts on a daily basis when we are experiencing anxiety, depression, addictions, etc etc.

 

I find this to be very true for anyone that is considering entering counseling services. Each week, I talk to individuals callin me for services who express some form of being scared or afraid to entering services. I tell them "this is quite normal to feel this way when coming to a neutral person and focusing on yourself". In addition, it's quite scary to face ones self and be fully honest with all the emotions and thoughts you have. Stepping into a place of your self that has never really been expressed to anyone else. However, it seems there is some hope and excitement to learning ways to better function in ones life. Excitement to developing a new you. Excitement to going on an adventure of what made you You. There is an energetic polarity that is pushing and pulling the desire to grow.

 

This energetic polarity can and does cause you to not live up to your life goals because the strength is mostly in the pulling away. This causes you to get stuck in your head and criticizing yourself. You might even play a victim in your head and say "I can never get better". This is quite normal as well because when you are unwell in your mind; you have and will develop protective mindsets to live your life. The opposite is quite true as well. If the energy is pushing you towards your growth; you will push through these mental mindsets and say "I want a better life" and "I can have a better life. This stuff is not helpful for me". I like to point out to everyone that if you make the choice just to call a provider, you have lots of strength within your self. That first step is a sign that you are strong enough towards working through the sometimes dark parts and sometimes bright parts of your self. The next hardest step is actually attending your scheduled appointment. From that point forward, it becomes easy to attend.

 

I would like to finish by saying that within the process of processing through your anxiety, depression, addictions, etc, you are going to have feelings of hope and feelings of being afraid. Just like I was saying at the top; experienced clients express these emotional states even though they have the strong muscles to work through their problems. Again, it is quite normal for you to feel "I'm scared" or "I'm afraid" when attempting to enter services or while in services. The best things is making an attempt to grow in some way. It might take some time to get going and every attempt to start it up is progress in itself. I know that you can do it when the time is right for you.



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